For the first few decades of my life, I think the overwhelming script / mode that I was in was, ‘no one can tell me what to do!’ Which was, at the time and place, a difficult position to take as a woman.

I was stubborn and headstrong but most of all, I think my family trusted me a lot. They always say that no matter what it is, I’ll figure it out. And I do.

Sometimes my friends say I have tremendous courage and resilience, which is, I think, only really possible because I have so much trust, and so much of a safety net. There’s always a place for me to live. I’ll never go hungry, to be honest. If things don’t work out in Murica, I’ll be fine. Etc.

I think I used to mistake the risks I took for something else, but I now know it’s safety. I have never once felt unsafe in my life. Even in all of those places that I mention above.

As I get older, I’m increasingly cognizant that that’s such a privilege. And that’s also why I care a lot about trying to be that safe person for people who don’t have it.

I don’t think I knew what I was doing, but I do know that I’ve been extremely lucky to have been able to say: I’ve never had to do anything I didn’t want to do. An acquaintance, from a far more repressed cultural background, once said that he really admired me for having that freedom. I don’t think I understood it at the time.