https://github.com/mmalmi/nostr-vpn

https://headscale.net/stable/

I don't know why anyone uses tailscale when you can just make your own wireguard tunnel on a VPS...?

Yes, several with different tradeoffs: Headscale — open-source reimplementation of Tailscale's coordination server. You self-host the control plane and use the official Tailscale clients (which are FOSS, only the coordinator isn't). Closest drop-in replacement; community-maintained, mature. githu...