If urgent (it rarely is), push notification. Otherwise email.

Been liking nostr dm notifications but need to be able to control frequency

Push, allows me to manage specific behaviour and permissions in the OS

Push notifications by far

I'm a pull maximalist for everything other than DM with people I meet regularly IRL (there could be some emergency). So mail or nostr dm for me...

SimpleX

I don't want to be notified by anything or anyone 😂😂.

Push only if action is required fastly. Email is good for relevant information

Depends on an app/context, hard to choose one pattern

Zap notifications

Mobile push, but Nostr DMs would be preferred if they were more verifiably reliable.