Geographically distributed, multi-vendor multisig.

Download VeraCrypt. Create an encrypted container using AES256 and a strong password you'll remember. Store keys as text in container. Upload container to cloud hosting of your choice. https://www.veracrypt.fr/en/Home.html

https://store.coinkite.com/store/seedplate

Memorize them or multi-sig stored in different locations.

Tattoo it on your penis 😆

Multi sig. multiple locations.

People are their own worst eney.... It's definitely possible to over-complicate and overthink it too much, and end up losing your stash trying to be all Macgyver about it. 90%+ of people would be secure with just pen and paper.

Encode to BIP39 wordlist and stamp to metal.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pin-master/pin-master-20-the-most-secure-and-compact-password-manager?ref=ean06n&utm_source=jellop&ja=z2aimakj&utm_campaign=userclick

Stamp seed phrase to washers. Bolt washers to cement pier block. Bury pier block somewhere identifiable by other landmarks or gps (assume it may end up further undergroud at some point.) Not likely to shift much, even less likely if you can bury in a root mass of an old tree.

either multi signature, with one or two individuals you trust, or store it in any any of the clouds, HEAVILY CODED I've trained myself in morse code and REVERSE CODES that whatever I code cannot be cracked by a mere human, even those who can solve Rubix easily and ones with very high IQ's I don't ...

One possible solution is sparrow’s border wallet. Seems easier to memorize a pattern instead of 12 or 24 words. https://youtu.be/wHQrvCGVkTw