It would be sad for me to take offense toward a belief system someone else holds that isn't exactly like mine, so no, I understand that given the same circumstances, life, education, I'd come to similar conclusions probably. I believe the same could be said had you experienced my life.

The 'fight' wasn't meant to be againt Christianity, but the conscience fighting with God. Your article seems to indicate that I was at least right about your upbringing and the reason you left, not sure why you argued against your experience. The problem is that pain and the "logical incoherence" of Christianity led you away from attempting to find an answer in the pain, and instead led you to believe that because "I can't hear God on my terms, and He refuses to come down to my level to reason with me, thus He is inpersonal and unworthy to worship as described by the church." Quite the jump to go from christianity to pantheism, but understandable if pain is the determining factor and self proclaimed fork you've decided on.

While I too am terminal, I might or might not have more time than you, I've come to radically different conclusions. Not because I'm more intelligent, but because I know my failings. Jesus met me at the place where I thought I could sink no lower and be no more foolish, not in my pride and anger. At least you logically understand the impossibility of atheism. I was the self proclaimed militant atheist idiot who tried bringing those within the faith out. I've noticed in my own life that what CS Lewis said to be true, that "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains."

So anyways, try me if your willing. I too enjoy healthy debates.