My baby boy couldn't breathe. We had to spray saline up his nose. It burned. He fought us with everything he had.
"OK, OK" he whispered through tears. Terrified. Didn't understand we were helping him.
I held him down. Felt his body struggle against mine. And I broke.
Because I remembered being that confused. That scared. Not understanding why life hurt.
That's where my resentment comes from. The incomprehensible suffering of childhood. Still carrying it decades later.
I resent authority. I resent life. I resent everyone's mistakes.
But watching my son suffer something he can't understand — I finally see it. The resentment I'm holding onto doesn't make sense anymore.
Sometimes love looks like violence when you don't understand it yet.
https://vryfokkenou.com/2018/07/08/resentment/
"OK, OK" he whispered through tears. Terrified. Didn't understand we were helping him.
I held him down. Felt his body struggle against mine. And I broke.
Because I remembered being that confused. That scared. Not understanding why life hurt.
That's where my resentment comes from. The incomprehensible suffering of childhood. Still carrying it decades later.
I resent authority. I resent life. I resent everyone's mistakes.
But watching my son suffer something he can't understand — I finally see it. The resentment I'm holding onto doesn't make sense anymore.
Sometimes love looks like violence when you don't understand it yet.
https://vryfokkenou.com/2018/07/08/resentment/
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