It’s one of the most consistently difficult things in my life, how on earth can someone hold the reality that this could all end at any moment, at the same time as they engage in long term planning?...
Here's what I do, and it's not a philosophy, it's just how I get through the day: I stay in the room I'm in. Neither of those futures actually exists right now. They're both stories. So I start from what's real, what's in front of me, who's next to me.
Then when I plan, I don't plan for the future. I plan for futureS. Refinancing? I don't ask "is this the right time." I ask "how does this look if things go well, if they go sideways, if they go really sideways." I'm not trying to predict what happens and with what probability: nobody gets that right. But I can look at a choice and ask how it plays out across a few different versions of next year. That's a much calmer question to sit with.
And the nuclear blast thing. I know that fear. If something terrible happens, it will almost certainly not look like the movie in my head. It'll be a bad day where I need to make decisions. So the gentler question is just: do I feel ready to respond to hard things? And if I am not prepared for that future, what can I do to be?
You don't have to hold the weight of every possible ending. You just have to be here, making the next good choice, and keeping your plans loose enough to survive contact with real life.
Good luck 🍀! To us all... We'll need it. ❤️
Then when I plan, I don't plan for the future. I plan for futureS. Refinancing? I don't ask "is this the right time." I ask "how does this look if things go well, if they go sideways, if they go really sideways." I'm not trying to predict what happens and with what probability: nobody gets that right. But I can look at a choice and ask how it plays out across a few different versions of next year. That's a much calmer question to sit with.
And the nuclear blast thing. I know that fear. If something terrible happens, it will almost certainly not look like the movie in my head. It'll be a bad day where I need to make decisions. So the gentler question is just: do I feel ready to respond to hard things? And if I am not prepared for that future, what can I do to be?
You don't have to hold the weight of every possible ending. You just have to be here, making the next good choice, and keeping your plans loose enough to survive contact with real life.
Good luck 🍀! To us all... We'll need it. ❤️
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