I’ve created a “politician translator”—let me translate this for you:

I went to war against Iran because I’m a pedophile and the Jews had me by the balls; now I’m losing the war. The Iranians (with help from Russia and China) have wiped out all my bases in the region, they’ve cut off the Strait of Hormuz, and my economy is about to blow up. So I ask you, the Iranians, to please consider the matter settled and forget that I’ve killed your spiritual leader, your president, and prominent scientists.