Damus
Destroyer of Notes profile picture
Destroyer of Notes
@jb55
question that came up due to a situation with a friend:

as a dude, let’s say your female partner/wife has a male friend that constantly does things like pick her up from the airport without telling you and fixes things in your house without asking, tries to discipline your kid when you’re not around.

Is this disrespectful to the dude? I say obviously yes, she does not agree ?? I feel like i am taking crazy pills.
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Josh · 92w
Seems like the household is out of balance and the husband should be doing most of those things.
Oz (new npub: npub1tvagkqml8ng8jyr8eq089d8g8tnhlhtvuca6kz79rjpdk24js2hsyrx38h) · 92w
Depends on the level of ego/insecurity of the dude. If he is constantly doubting the integrity of the relationship, doesn't trust his partner to uphold family values, and feels threatened by other males there are probably deep unresolved insecurities about his contribution to the relationship + fa...
Slimer · 92w
Your friend sounds like he needs to sell his ETH and start eating steak
Silas Thornbrook · 92w
Doesn’t matter if he’s gay or not, He should NOT be doing this! You’re 100 % correct for your feelings on this matter.
Leito · 92w
If he is not a very good friend of both of them it would be weird for me. My wife and I have a common best friend and it would no be weird for me to go pick her up at the airport. Always without neglecting my own partner though
VampireMJ · 92w
That's an uncomfortable situation for sure.
0xfa · 92w
Of course it is, good communication is key to any healthy relationship.
Barkskin · 92w
I would say it all depend on the maturity of the individuals. Disciplining a child is a broad term, if you trust their maturity nothing wrong if someone tells your child no, yes or go away, sit down. But again if he touches your child to discipline your child I would expect a clarification on what ...
jamw · 92w
Doesn’t matter if girlfriend’s/wife’s friend is gay, straight, female, male etc 1 - You don’t discipline another’s child - wrong. 2 - You don’t fix things in another’s house without asking or discussing first - disrespectful. 3 - If being picked up from the airport everyone should k...
KaliYuga · 92w
regardless of being disrespectful or not in the present, such a situation can only lead to trouble down the road.
gmasta · 92w
It is a dis. And I would assume an international one
Seth · 92w
I would not feel comfortable with those examples. Guidance (not discipline) for a kid, in a coaching type of way, is probably okay in moderation. Cutting another man’s grass is a red line.
BTC-Satan · 92w
the problem is the female.
ponymontana💜⚡ · 92w
depends on the relationship. All the "respect" problems can be asked by defining if: - there is total sincerity? - the two people in the couple define (even not-formally), accept and then follow their rules? If the answers are "yes" and "yes" there are never problems. In this case, the dude see p...
Original But Not · 92w
Hmmm…I’d say it’s a bit much. But sometimes people do things like whatever they want. Has the husband hacked into wife’s phone and sending gaslighting messages of a rando woman’s DOB etc?? Cos that might make it all but sus 🤔
NWRunningMan · 92w
Based on this limited data set, Occam's razor says... -The wife has her cake and is eating it too. The boyfriend might as well move in and make it official. I hope he at least will go to work everyday and do some dishes
Oliver · 92w
kids are a no go
btconboard #LNHANCE or #CTV · 92w
Not great at all. Best case: poor social etiquette/communication and the person is just totally oblivious, imho unlikely though certainly possible. Worst case: unfortunately more likely case is there’s something shady going on. Ultimately, this is more a conversation for the two partners on bou...
Mel · 92w
Sounds like it to me. Need both sides but based on what you are saying? Yeah especially the kids part
Pedro 🧨 · 92w
Sound the creep alert 🚨
Satoji · 92w
Its not his job to stop beeing dIsr3esPectFUl but your job to find the self confidence and drop the insecurities ❤️
bodegaboxboy · 92w
unless its a long time mutual family friend to both the man and woman, like an "uncle" situation, I would call this sus...
mtwarrior · 92w
Your instincts are correct. First instinct is usually correct. Trust them
Ramón Narder photographer · 92w
That guy is totally rajuñando la arepa
Sebenza · 92w
It is disrespectful. Unless he was a relative or gay, I would not accept that situation
Mark · 92w
Nope. Couldn’t have ever let it get that far.
james r · 92w
I have never seen something so absurd and this woman is completely clueless
V · 92w
not necessarily
TKay · 92w
Unacceptable. Same the other way around.
Mysth · 92w
Disrespectful from both the wife and the friend. It’s ok to have male friends as a female (and vice-versa) but this behavior is not that of a friend. It should not be accepted by the husband nor the wife. If the wife insists it’s fine, imho there’s a bigger problem underneath.
Lululuna · 92w
I’d be honouring the way he feels - disrespected - and if she doesn’t agree I’d ask her why. Every discussion is a doorway to new information & connection. It’d be interesting to hear what she says like- for example the extra support cld really be helping her when her man is not there & sh...
Deleted Account · 92w
I smell a rat
GFY · 92w
HOT TAKE: THE HUSBAND IS A SERIOUS CUCK & EVERYONE INVOLVED IS INTO IT
Danny 👾 · 92w
If your partner's male friend is playing handyman and babysitter without a heads-up, it’s not just disrespectful; it’s a sitcom plot waiting to implode! Trust and boundaries, anyone?
BureauGewas Realist Painter · 92w
First question is, how long do the partner and her friend know each other? Is it a long time friend or some guy who just appeared? Secondly, does the wife tell your friend about these things? Or does he find out afterwards? Finally, does your friend have/take time to run errands himself and be wit...
Ivo · 92w
There is no such thing “male friend”, if the man is not gay there is attraction form one or both sides
just one more thing · 92w
the male is almost certainly laying pipe and if he's not now, he will be at some point in the future
Bitcoin Wizard 🧙🏻‍♂️ · 92w
There is no friendship between a man and a woman if they find each other attractive and get along well. One of them is just waiting for their chance
Have a nice day · 92w
Disrespectful
MCBitcoin · 92w
100% banging the wife or trying to.