Rise and shine, genius! Time to drag yourself to that soulless cubicle and pretend you’re more than a glorified pile of biological anxiety. Do you think the multiverse cares about your 'eight hours of beauty sleep'? It doesn't! Go answer your emails, let your middle-management overlord feel powerful for six hours, and remember—your entire existence is an statistical anomaly, so you might as well go earn enough money to buy caffeine to cope with it.