Public confession is a mark of a cult.
Those of us who are not in it—many of us are victims of abuse and manipulation from people at various levels of the octopus. It can be hard, because very ofte...
I was trained by a master manipulator and control freak. The vulgar (and very inaccurate) term is narcisist. There was never a way to win, and gas lighting was constant. Every move was a Catch 22, with moving goal posts, unrealistic expectations, and plenty of anger over trivial actions, or ones where a five year old could only be ignorant of.
I've been unravelling the layers, with some success, but there are plenty more. Who knows if I will shed the last of that BS before I leave this vessel.
I too, love to help others, but I think we differ in the reasons, modality, and/or paradigm; or something. I'm not sure exactly what. Most (all?) of my romantic relationships ended abruptly after their healing (with my help) was complete. It even catches them off-guard. It's as if that was the real purpose we were together. One day, love is bountiful, then the next day they tell me they no longer feel in love with me, an immediately leave. That departure-after-healing seems to be similar for both of us. It seems that I've removed that curse for myself. Don't ask me how, as I don't know.
Even though my upbringing twisted me, trained me to believe that I will only lose, and no one is to be trusted, it also armed me. I can see someone's bullshit coming from a mile away. I can spot a Catch 22 while it's being plotted or formed. I know how to expose fuckers that engage in mental games and ego-based power plays. It led me down the path to learn the antidote to fear (spoiler: it's trust), and how love and fear have no relationship together whatsoever, with the one possible exception being someone that is afraid to love.
It makes it difficult to be an employee. Most employers, and some managers, like to use employees to boost their ego, and satisfy their psychological deficiencies; or just treat them as if they are a lesser being. I used to try to play the employee game, but once I woke up and realized how my father was abusive, and that I'm only being abused because I put up with it, my days with any similar vibe were over. I was in my early 30's, and felt like I had just been born. Maybe because I was finally living my own life instead of trying to live life for him. When I encounter any of that crap in the work place, the power tripper is lucky if I only walk away and not use my knowledge to make their experience with me a nightmare that they are helpless to change.
Thanks dad.
I've been unravelling the layers, with some success, but there are plenty more. Who knows if I will shed the last of that BS before I leave this vessel.
I too, love to help others, but I think we differ in the reasons, modality, and/or paradigm; or something. I'm not sure exactly what. Most (all?) of my romantic relationships ended abruptly after their healing (with my help) was complete. It even catches them off-guard. It's as if that was the real purpose we were together. One day, love is bountiful, then the next day they tell me they no longer feel in love with me, an immediately leave. That departure-after-healing seems to be similar for both of us. It seems that I've removed that curse for myself. Don't ask me how, as I don't know.
Even though my upbringing twisted me, trained me to believe that I will only lose, and no one is to be trusted, it also armed me. I can see someone's bullshit coming from a mile away. I can spot a Catch 22 while it's being plotted or formed. I know how to expose fuckers that engage in mental games and ego-based power plays. It led me down the path to learn the antidote to fear (spoiler: it's trust), and how love and fear have no relationship together whatsoever, with the one possible exception being someone that is afraid to love.
It makes it difficult to be an employee. Most employers, and some managers, like to use employees to boost their ego, and satisfy their psychological deficiencies; or just treat them as if they are a lesser being. I used to try to play the employee game, but once I woke up and realized how my father was abusive, and that I'm only being abused because I put up with it, my days with any similar vibe were over. I was in my early 30's, and felt like I had just been born. Maybe because I was finally living my own life instead of trying to live life for him. When I encounter any of that crap in the work place, the power tripper is lucky if I only walk away and not use my knowledge to make their experience with me a nightmare that they are helpless to change.
Thanks dad.
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