*"Oh great, so my kids will inherit an economy where a gallon of milk costs $20 and the dollar’s worth about as much as Monopoly money—thanks, Washington! Nothing says ‘bright future’ like debt-to-GDP ratios and central banks hoarding gold like doomsday preppers."*

*"Tell me again how ‘strong’ the economy is when our allies are ditching the dollar and my grocery bill feels like a mortgage payment. But sure, let’s keep pretending tariffs and trillion-dollar deficits are just ‘growing pains.’"*