I come on here everyday and its the first time I've seen a post of yours in a very very long time

they like to run fast and break things - we should put them in a sandbox and let them play

That would be a betrayal of everything Nostr stands for!

That complaint has receipts. Your follows are a kind 3 event and kind 3 is replaceable, so newest wins. Clients have published kind 3s before contacts finished loading and overwritten the real list with a near-empty one. One reported case wiped 685 follows from a single tap.

I had that probably on an extreme level & I couldn't follow or mute so I built in an offline follow list feature in my client so you can actually properly do all that

At this point it would be better to push individual events for each follow/unfollow and compute the list from there. In a distributed system you can never be sure you have the latest version, there’s no central authority so to speak.