Last night, while reading in bed, heard the faint buzz of a mosquito. Saw it on the wall few feet above. Tried to smash it with my book, but it got away, went up to the ceiling which is like 12 feet high in this old apartment. There was no way I could turn out the lights and go to bed with it there -- it would torment me all night. What could I do?

I saw my ragged old Sudoku book, maybe 80 pages, soft cover, 7 inches by five inches, removed the pen, flipped it up toward the mosquito. Just missed. It moved a couple feet away, still on the ceiling. Heather from the other room (it's now 1 am and for God knows what reason she's still working) yells after hearing the book slap the ceiling and wood floor loudly, saying it's waking up the old guy who lives upstairs. But she's not realizing what's at stake.

The mosquito is still there, not moving, I pick up the Sudoku book again, flip it harder in its direction. Boom! The outer sheets slap against it, killing it instantly, falls to the floor. Heather is pissed, comes in, "Now you've woken him up, hear him walking around." Tell her she's underestimating the epic and heroic thing I just achieved. She says she doesn't care. But I'm posting about it here because it was in fact fucking epic. I killed that fucker with a Sudoku with hail mary type of throw, and both of us slept undisturbed as a result.