I was married to Cirno from Touhou for five years. She was beautiful. Within a month of getting married she was arrested by the Scarlet Police on Ghetto Patrol for stealing over $800 in merch from the Human Village (she didn't need to; I was an Poast Janny and made enough). We had a daughter. Within a year of our daughter's birth, she was black marketing in a serious black marketing ring, off poast. Then I found out she was banging the Sister Cumsock Poaster while I was deployed. She met him at the shrine, of course.

I am far from inexperienced in these matters.