it's a centralized toy. do you think this is some kind of gotcha? you are sending me free IOUs to help me understand how the toy works. do you think I talk about stuff without trying it and reading the documentation?

Monero is instant to receive. Litecoin is instant to receive. Bitcoin Cash easily competes with Lightning for receiving & spending, instantly. All three of these are far more decentralized than Lightning. Please do not respond until you have tried all of the above.