So I guess Florida tested a bunch of candy for heavy metals, and found pretty insane levels of arsenic in half the candies tested.

Then my wife pointed out that this sounds like an Agatha Christie murder mystery, where the murderer puts small doses of arsenic in someone's food to keep them sick and eventually kill them.

It makes total sense, at least from the perspective of big pharma's business model. We are victims of munchausen by proxy.