I ponder the same things. I can’t make up my mind what to believe on all of it. But, I have come to a conclusion for myself that I believe in a positive and negative force. Even science backs this to some degree, because that’s why everything exists. But, I don’t know about all of that and I don’t adhere to a religion specifically anymore. I’ve been apart of every religion on some level that I could find, I could t stick with any. So I decided that I’ll just seek the good and do the right thing as much as possible and if I don’t succeed always in doing that, I won’t beat myself up about it, but I won’t stop aiming for doing what is right. And that seems to feel good to me. I don’t know where else to go with it all. I want to be one of those people that stand up to the evils, and I don’t always know how to, but that’s what I believe the positive energy is for - it can guide me, because I gave myself to it. I call this Spirituality.