Official Bitcoin Twitter Self-Worth Chart

$70k: your hairline recedes.
$60k: gangrene develops.
$50k: you lose the ability to make coherent sentences, and all you can say to your panicked loved ones is "Bitcoin is digital energy".

$150k: erectile dysfunction vanishes.
$250k: your wife returns with the kids, saying she made a terrible mistake.
$500k: your long-dead father rises from the grave, tells you that he was wrong and you were right, and he's proud of you.