My father developed Alzheimer’s & dementia in his early sixties
not really all that far from where I am now

It killed him slowly
His mind forgot how to direct the most basic motor functions
how to chew, how to swallow
He aspirated on his food, and pneumonia filled his lungs
In the end, he drowned from the inside

The years of caregiving were difficult on my family

I suspect a day may come when I meet a similar fate
when I forget the story of my own life,
when I forget the people I’ve long loved,
when I forget how to walk,
how to shave my face

So maybe
it’s best I savor these moments while they’re mine

To not ever sit behind a desk under artificial lights
But to trade banter with my family, to chase joy and adventures
To do things that matter,
things that make me feel alive
To do it all now
before cognitive decline slowly erases the world in motion around me

And if that day comes
just strap the weight belt on me,
give me a kiss and a smile,
and push me in the pool