- People now receive predeclined credit cards in the mail.

- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

- McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

- Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

- A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

- A picture is now only worth 187 words.

- The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

- The Suicide Hotline is now a call center in Afghanistan, and when you tell them about being suicidal, they will ask if you can drive a truck.