What's the difference between politicians and flying pigs?










The letter 'f'

Kauf ich sofort! Aber nur, wenn der wirklich den Merz wegsaugen kann...

OMG I have more than one 🙈

Schon lustig: Manche Deutschen bezeichnen Leute, die nordafrikanische Wirtschaftsflüchtlinge als "braunes Pack" bezeichnen, als "braunes Pack."

Ich bin verwirrt: sind nun nordafrikanische Wirtschaftsflüchtlinge das "braune Pack", oder die Leute, die diese so bezeichnen? Und sind nicht generell Leute, die andere Leute als "Pack" bezeichnen, selber "Pack", egal welche Farbe?

How to troll a scammer:

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer: (thick, heavy accent) “Hello. This is Tom Smith from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity coming from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

Scammer: “Oh yes, Sir. We have many reports.”

Me: “Oh, jeez. How can I fix it?”

Scammer: “It’s okay, Sir. We can help you right now. Are you in front of your device?”

Me: “Yes. I was just about to use it. I’m glad you called.”

Scammer: “Good, Sir. Please push the Start button.”

Me: “I think it’s already on.”

Scammer: “Okay, Sir. Now click on Control Panel.”

Me: “I don’t see that.”

Scammer: “Do you see a bunch of information above the Start button?”

Me: “Yes.”

Scammer: “That is your Control Panel.”

Me: “Wow. I didn’t realize it had a name.”

Scammer: “Yes, Sir. Now press Internet Options.”

Me: “I don’t see any Internet options. I don’t think I bought that feature. This is just a cheap one.”

Scammer: “All devices have Internet, Sir. Press the Start button again.”

Me: “Okay. Same as before.”

Scammer: “That’s fine, Sir. We will restart your device. Please turn it off.”

Me: “Um… I don’t know how. I’ve never turned it off. It kind of just stays on.”

Scammer: “There must be an off button. How do you stop it when it’s running?”

Me: “I usually press the big button.”

Scammer: “Okay, Sir. Press that button.”

Me: “Okay.”

Scammer: “Is your device off?”

Me: “No. The door popped open.”

Scammer: “Door? Is there a disc inside?”

Me: “No. There’s a burrito.”

Scammer: “Why is there a burrito in your computer?”

Me: “Computer? I thought you said this was microwave support.”

Spitzname für Frau von der Lying, wenn sie mal wieder die ganz große Verschmelzung Europas fordert...