I feel you brother 🫂

Know that you're unique but not special

There's also bnothing wrong with you

It's uncomfortable but you chose it, it was not thrust upon you

The question is can you accept the discomfort & still show up anyway?

The showing up, the noticing is more important than resolving the divergence you see.

You are an observer & a creator, not a fixer. You were never here to fix what was flawed from the start. That was never your burden to carry.

I'm finding capturing my ideas as private notes, not as a task list but as a list of opportunities that could be pursued, helps. It's like it frees up my own biological RAM to focus on what's important right now. It also helps when I turn up at the hardware store with no idea why, lol. You can't control your thoughts but acknowledging them with a note, calms them down. They've been heard & considered. They will not be forgotten or dismissed without consideration & so they stop pinging around your mind, distracting you.

The other thing I find useful is lowering the importance of all things, including myself. There's nothing in the physical that is that important: So what? Why not? That's interesting. Let go your grip on the steering wheel & start taking in the scenery. The bus doesn't crash & if it did, that would be interesting & not your fault.

Ask yourself what hot pile of shit are you carrying that isn't yours? Let it go.

Things get lighter when you shed the heavy clothes you don't even remember putting on in the first place.

🫂