I had a good little speech set up for a cadet.
He was in review board with two other cadet superiors reviewing his application for promotion to technical sergeant. I was the mandatory senior member.
He wrote about how he wants to improve in his concentration, communication and study skills.
He wrote about how he can't get himself to study.
I could tell on his application, he hadn't written much of anything in school. His handwriting was atrocious, and couldn't spell even simple words. He used made-up abbreviations rather than misspelling some longer words.
I kept thinking "I can't remember any black boys his age bracket."
Then a young white boy came in and saluted.
When I was in 7th grade, the only kids who were that set back from neglect were black, but that was a long time ago. Today even the white boys can't read and write.
He was shaking in his boots, trembling. He didn't know who I was. He didn't know I was his buddy's dad. But he plowed through it, he eventually calmed down.
He talked about how he wanted to be a better "communicator" and asked "how do I talk to people?" He said he couldn't concentrate on the programs reading material for the awards because he kept wanting send his attention back to his game console in his bedroom, and messaging his friends. He continued on, he looked like his spirit had been broken long ago.
After the cadet commander and first sergeant were through with him, I explained to the boy how to study like a man.
I said, "People learn differently: through seeing, through hearing and through doing. When you are reading in a book, set out to study, and you are distracting yourself and want to crawl back into your comfort zone: back to the online world, back to messaging your friends, back to your Minecraft world, back to YouTubes and podcasts; read out loud, or read it to yourself in your head, like you can hear yourself think, then write notes. Write the notes about what YOU are thinking about and what you think about what you just read. Don't just copy down things word for word, that is boring. No, write what you get out of it.
When you notice yourself wanting to go back to your comfort zone, think of it as someone that is not you that is trying to hold you down, to keep you from succeeding at what you want to get done.
When you are in a social situation, you ask people about themselves, get them to talk about their lives and what they like. People will talk about themselves forever and they will feel good about you because you are interested in them. Ask questions even if you dont really care.
I just told my daughter two days ago when she was about to do ballet in a show, 'You smile not to make yourself look good, but to make people watching you feel good about themselves,' and that is what you are doing when you're asking people about themselves.
I can tell you are dedicated to this program, you wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't. You show up every week, you try hard, but you think the things that seem impossible are only hard for you.
But the things you are talking about are the problems everyone has, you aren't the only one. You can overcome these fears and anxieties. You do it by plowing through it. I have to plow through things I don't want to do, and if I don't and let someone else do it for me, I still can't do it myself the next time. You ignore those feelings and know they are only trying to hold you back. The only way to overcome it is to go through it. You will eventually get used to it, then you will forget about it. But you first have to plow through it, then it will get easier, and it's the same for everyone."
I probably made a friend.
He was in review board with two other cadet superiors reviewing his application for promotion to technical sergeant. I was the mandatory senior member.
He wrote about how he wants to improve in his concentration, communication and study skills.
He wrote about how he can't get himself to study.
I could tell on his application, he hadn't written much of anything in school. His handwriting was atrocious, and couldn't spell even simple words. He used made-up abbreviations rather than misspelling some longer words.
I kept thinking "I can't remember any black boys his age bracket."
Then a young white boy came in and saluted.
When I was in 7th grade, the only kids who were that set back from neglect were black, but that was a long time ago. Today even the white boys can't read and write.
He was shaking in his boots, trembling. He didn't know who I was. He didn't know I was his buddy's dad. But he plowed through it, he eventually calmed down.
He talked about how he wanted to be a better "communicator" and asked "how do I talk to people?" He said he couldn't concentrate on the programs reading material for the awards because he kept wanting send his attention back to his game console in his bedroom, and messaging his friends. He continued on, he looked like his spirit had been broken long ago.
After the cadet commander and first sergeant were through with him, I explained to the boy how to study like a man.
I said, "People learn differently: through seeing, through hearing and through doing. When you are reading in a book, set out to study, and you are distracting yourself and want to crawl back into your comfort zone: back to the online world, back to messaging your friends, back to your Minecraft world, back to YouTubes and podcasts; read out loud, or read it to yourself in your head, like you can hear yourself think, then write notes. Write the notes about what YOU are thinking about and what you think about what you just read. Don't just copy down things word for word, that is boring. No, write what you get out of it.
When you notice yourself wanting to go back to your comfort zone, think of it as someone that is not you that is trying to hold you down, to keep you from succeeding at what you want to get done.
When you are in a social situation, you ask people about themselves, get them to talk about their lives and what they like. People will talk about themselves forever and they will feel good about you because you are interested in them. Ask questions even if you dont really care.
I just told my daughter two days ago when she was about to do ballet in a show, 'You smile not to make yourself look good, but to make people watching you feel good about themselves,' and that is what you are doing when you're asking people about themselves.
I can tell you are dedicated to this program, you wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't. You show up every week, you try hard, but you think the things that seem impossible are only hard for you.
But the things you are talking about are the problems everyone has, you aren't the only one. You can overcome these fears and anxieties. You do it by plowing through it. I have to plow through things I don't want to do, and if I don't and let someone else do it for me, I still can't do it myself the next time. You ignore those feelings and know they are only trying to hold you back. The only way to overcome it is to go through it. You will eventually get used to it, then you will forget about it. But you first have to plow through it, then it will get easier, and it's the same for everyone."
I probably made a friend.
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