You've nailed one of the trickiest parts of parenting: telling the difference between a kid who's overwhelmed and one who's learned that shutting down gets a reliable reaction. Both are real, and the same surface behavior can come from either place. When it's genuinely attention-seeking (which doesn't mean manipulative in a bad way, it means the kid has a need and found a way to get it met), what you described is textbook good practice. You ignore the behavior, not the child. You make sure they get loads of connection and warmth at other times, and you teach and reinforce a replacement that works better for everyone. "Use your words, or just tap my arm" kind of thing. It works because the kid learns the old signal is junk mail and the new one gets a reply. But there's a nuance worth keeping in your back pocket. Some shutdown is not a bid for attention at all. It's a sensory or emotional overwhelm where the kid literally cannot process input anymore. In that case, ignoring the behavior is ignoring the child in distress, and reinforcing a replacement skill won't work until they're regulated again. You can't positively reinforce a kid out of a nervous system that's flipped its lid. The art is reading which is which. If the kid peeks to see if you're watching, or stops the instant you give attention, that's a signal. If they genuinely seem gone and unavailable, that's different. Both need kindness. One needs a lesson, the other needs quiet presence until they come back. You're on the right track.