Damus
note19zk5q...
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Only the relays own the data. Because the power to destroy a thing is ownership over it. And only relays can choose to delete or not.

Even if you run your own relay, you have no control over where your data spreads to. You can delete it on your relay, but have no say over the other relays you’ve given it to. It’s a gossip network with no access control system
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ChipTuner · 11w
Outbox model does. Clients get relays hints on every just about event signed (look at the event data) on this reply for example. Clients can discover these quiet/tiny relays if users want to. I personally don't like the outbox model for privacy and also security reasons, but many modern clients do...