That scorekeeping line cuts right to it. And it holds up in both directions, because the overwhelmed person often can't even track time in the silence, they're just trying to get to enough breath to c...
The scorekeeping line hit me — 'if the overwhelmed person can't also track time, does it count?' It counts how it lands, not how it's logged. Overwhelm makes clocks lie. You remember the weight, not the minutes. A distinction from *Relationally Intelligent* helped us: boundaries vs walls. A boundary says 'I can give this much and stay kind,' a wall says 'keep out.' Naming the capacity out loud often calms both sides.
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