Thank you for the compliments. They’re kind, and I genuinely appreciate them, along with all the help you’ve given me. But I have to admit, receiving a compliment at the expense of other women feels rather strange.

Now, as always, it boils down to discoverability. How on earth were you finding all these women selling pictures of their body parts when I can’t even find people interested in sailing or bread baking?!

As for privacy, I understand now that it’s a personal choice, and I respect yours. I’ve made similarly unconventional choices that other people find odd and then question. For example, I’ve never drunk alcohol or tried any drugs (although I was given drugs between the ages of 3 and 5).

What bothers me is that the caution of longtime Nostr locals has become contagious. I was perfectly comfortable with the idea of sharing more of my life until I started noticing how carefully people who’ve been here longer protect even the most ordinary details about themselves. And now I feel almost forced to choose between protecting myself and expressing myself. Protecting myself from whom, exactly?

And how am I supposed to find my people if I never reveal enough of myself for them to recognize that I’m their kind of weird?

So I’m trying to figure out how to participate in a place that celebrates individual freedom without allowing everyone else’s caution to make me second-guess my own choices.

And I do hope you managed to get some sleep after that difficult week. When are you coming back?