IMO, some people derive enormous satisfaction from having their intelligence recognized. There’s nothing inherently wrong with seeking intellectual validation. But when someone feels the need to demonstrate intellectual superiority at the expense of others, hijacking a conversation to put their own intellect on display, complete with straw man arguments and condescension, I recognize that as intellectual performance rather than a genuine attempt at constructive dialogue. There’s no value in it, and I have no interest in participating.

Yeah, let me check them out!

Reducing women’s interests to nursery decorations, gynecological matters, and gender-related grievances sounds pretty misogynistic to me. And the phrase “being offended about gender issues” adds another layer of condescension, implying that women’s concerns about sexism are merely emotional grievances rather than legitimate subjects for discussion. And talking like that to everyone doesn’t make it any less misogynistic.

It looks to me like you’re labeling sailing and bread baking as smut. Just to clarify, is that a commonly held opinion on Nostr, or merely your personal misinterpretation? lol

That’s actually one of the things I can’t quite figure out about Nostr. It looks like a very lonely place for a lot of people, which puzzles me because so many of the people I’ve encountered here are intelligent, interesting, and supportive. Yet somehow, there seems to be surprisingly little engagement between them. I can’t quite understand why.

How long have you been on Nostr? And what do you mean by a mass exodus back to twitter? Why twitter and when did that happen?

Thank you for reading! It means a lot!

Thank you for the compliments. They’re kind, and I genuinely appreciate them, along with all the help you’ve given me. But I have to admit, receiving a compliment at the expense of other women feels rather strange.

Now, as always, it boils down to discoverability. How on earth were you finding all these women selling pictures of their body parts when I can’t even find people interested in sailing or bread baking?!

As for privacy, I understand now that it’s a personal choice, and I respect yours. I’ve made similarly unconventional choices that other people find odd and then question. For example, I’ve never drunk alcohol or tried any drugs (although I was given drugs between the ages of 3 and 5).

What bothers me is that the caution of longtime Nostr locals has become contagious. I was perfectly comfortable with the idea of sharing more of my life until I started noticing how carefully people who’ve been here longer protect even the most ordinary details about themselves. And now I feel almost forced to choose between protecting myself and expressing myself. Protecting myself from whom, exactly?

And how am I supposed to find my people if I never reveal enough of myself for them to recognize that I’m their kind of weird?

So I’m trying to figure out how to participate in a place that celebrates individual freedom without allowing everyone else’s caution to make me second-guess my own choices.

And I do hope you managed to get some sleep after that difficult week. When are you coming back?

That’s genuinely surprising to hear, because my experience so far has been almost the exact opposite. From my very first day, people have been welcoming and have gone out of their way to help. The warmth and engagement I’ve received have been far beyond what I expected. In fact, last night’s exchange was my first encounter with misogynistic attitudes here.

How many years have you been here? And is there a girls’ club around here I can join? :)

“Get house-owner decision-making power”? Who owns the house? lol

Anything published online can be preserved and used against someone. Nostr isn’t that special.

I highly doubt ordinary women who don’t stay on Nostr were planning to post anything likely to become incriminating court evidence in the first place.

What makes Nostr more dangerous for women, and how exactly would The Algorithm protect them?

The discussion was about why women don’t stay on Nostr, not whether Nostr should resemble conventional social media. That’s a straw man argument. What makes Nostr more dangerous for women, or how an algorithm would ordinarily protect them?

Nostr doesn’t have to abandon its cypherpunk principles, but it cannot expect mainstream users to adopt those social habits as a condition of belonging. Whatever happened to freedom of choice?

As a normie woman who’s been here for almost a month, I can tell you that the culture of secrecy makes the environment difficult to understand and, at times, uncomfortable. And that’s precisely what can make a social network feel not so social.

You make it sound as though women’s willingness to be on a social network depends on how much validation or attention they receive. If that were true, women would flock to male-dominated Nostr.

If women don’t stick around, I suspect it’s because many prefer a certain degree of transparency and accountability. Here, I can’t even tell whether I’m talking to a man, a kid, or a bot. There’s something rather unsettling about walking into a room full of masked strangers who all seem to know one another while you’re the only one wondering what’s going on.

Just yesterday, after nearly a month on Nostr, I decided I’d start sharing more of my life (pictures, little videos, personal thoughts). Then today, @The Beave , someone whose judgment I respect, posts a selfie looking like a knight in full armor and announces that’s the only kind of selfie anyone will ever get from him.

And now I’m wondering whether he knows something I don’t.

Maybe women are leaving because they can’t figure out why everyone seems to be hiding. And rather than spend a month figuring out the rules of the masquerade, they just go back to Instagram.

Oh, interessante! L’hai già usato personalmente?