I just want to sit within the trees and listen to water moving by my body, to stare at the sky and watch the shapes and the colors slowly morph with the passing of time and the walk of the sun. To feel held by the earth. To feel presence with the earth. To think about how cool it is that I’m in this body and that God made me like he made all of these other beautiful things. To leave urgency and anxiety and the need to prove my worth behind because everything I’ve ever needed was given to me the moment I was born. It is all right here, yet I pick up a small black rectangle every few minutes and absorb myself into an entirely different reality. An inversion convincing me to feel fear, lack, scarcity, survival. To spend my finite miracle of time chasing things that don’t matter. Remembering what truth feels like in my body and where I go to find it allows me to not get lost in my own dissonance.
