- House gets smallpox. The pedophile from Happiness guest stars as the most horrific antagonist, a doctor from the CDC. Martha and the team must join forces with a Dutch camwhore to save House's life.
- A man crucifies himself every year as a deal with God to keep his daughter's cancer in remission. He is absolutely the kind of patient who would exist in a perpetual state of gleefully supporting faggot cuckold child abusing drug addict gay bitch homosexual catboi ecelebs on youdentube, his highest calling is to be constantly subverted by jews and to throw himself to the ground in worship of any mediocre "content creator" who pretends to hold the same beliefs that he does in exchange for scraps of clout and social media monetization, he would've bought every issue of Cyberfrog and Isom. I know this because the only one true messiah, Charlie Kirk, came to me in a dream and told me. Fortunately, House is here to the rescue, using the opportunity to nuclear fedora tip and finally disprove that God absolutely for sure doesn't exist, never existed, never happened, never could happen. You are a false prophet and God is a superstition (drainage). House's argument against religion in this episode is unfalsifiable, and therefore inherently correct (that's what unfalsifiable means, it means it's true). I'm so glad it's finally over. It's so over that it never happened. It was all a hologram. And you know who's behind it. That's right, it's you're (you are) boi, The Patriots. They invented computers sometime in the late 1800s to store their personalities, but still for some reason need one singular specific microfilm in the 1960s (with no copies) to keep track of a location of their money (even though all currency becomes fiat a decade later, which would also have to be according to their plan, making all of their prior plans completely pointless, unless those plans were all written by an abject midwit pseud pretentious nihongo bingbongo wearing designer glasses as he takes pictures with gay tranny faggots), with the help of an old Russian who pretends to be a cowboy who pretends to be the guy whose hand he grafted onto his body and he pretends that the hand takes control of him randomly due to hand magic, but he was actually just faking it the whole time and he wasn't pretending to be the guy whose hand he grafted onto his body (he was pretending to pretend). See, now that's actual smart writing, unlike House which is very stupid and a bad show. The saddest thing of all is that it took this long for me to realize that House could never be as good as a gay video game story full of embarrassingly hilarious retcons, with its infinite depth and thematic meanings such as DNA and memes and ninja twinks that were made explicitly to appeal to teenage Japanese girls. If only I knew this sooner, we wouldn't have had to waste even a single second watching this horrible show. How could this happen to me? I made five mistakes, got lost in the run, the nyco sun as I'm fading away, I'm sick of this life, I just want ice cream.
- Shaggy from the Scooby Doo movie saves a girl who collapsed onto a subway track, but then he comes down with a mystery illness. Candice "Owens" Bergen guest stars as Cuddy's mom, until House murders her and she dies.
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