I knew I was going to love being a dad. After all, everyone and their mother (literally) tells you how much you're going to love it once your wife gets pregnant. You hear more cliches about fatherhood...

Definitely. Pat yourself on the back though, as a father I know that you kick them out for some peace and quiet!!

Unpopular: total sobriety is the most preferable state of being.

Girls want to feel like you're capable of murdering them but not do it. I don't make the rules of attraction. Nature is hardcore.

Sorry to hear about your 🐶 and hope the Mrs has provided a 🔔 for HODL to ring while he's incapacitated.