everything in my life is so carefully balanced and so close to collapse.
when/if (more when) it does, there’s no way out. everything would be unfixable and everyone’s fucked
i need to ensure 0 things go wrong for the sake of others while a prisoner of my own failing mental health while learning extra complications i can’t mitigate are looming
and now i have no backup resources in case of disaster
im so tired i genuinely hate my life, at this point and have for awhile. it’s got some redeeming parts, but i’m not entirely sure that outweighs the suffering
and i had to cancel everything i was looking forward to