One of the problems with the short video pipeline to exposure is that it becomes very easy to only see clips from a person who is a complete whack job in which they seem incredibly, reasonable, curious and interesting.

Sir when you say, "they don't have to vote for me, I have a cell phone, a batcave, and a Nick Cave album on vinyl." What do you mean to imply.

So when you tweet, "we are going to erraticate a race of people distorting even the memory of their history, culture, monuments and gods, in a few hours so watch closely as all burn like ants under a blow torch;" What did you mean?

I believe if we were to look at every area in the world, we would find the greatest diversity of intellectual capacity in Boston Massachusetts.

I think there should be a sign Boston home of the smartest and dumbest person you will ever meet.

The magical life changing art of ending conversations by screaming "how dare you use tradecraft on me. What do you think this is; two for one Bingo night at the old nudists retirement home. I'm offended and how tactless you are." and walking away.

My superpower is actually that I'm really good at shooting arrows. One day I'm going to use my arrows to fight God, right now I'm using my arrows to fight the military. I'm so good with arrows that I can do with an arrow what someone with about 2 weeks of training can do with a rifle.

It's time to ban all books, so Florida stops being number one at anything.

How to make your band sound better in only three simple steps.

Step one, find a fork or napkin containing DNA of Jack White.

Step two, clone Jack White.

Step three, provide Jack White clones lessons in music.

Step four, because shockingly I lied, recruit the Jack White clones to be the band.

So Cornhole is a serious sport.

Do exactly what I say or I will tweet it our nation's president to inform him that you have oil. Do you want that kind of stress in your life?

As president I will simply not wreck the global economy with multiple acts of aggression that we're not going to call war. I'm not even going to put my name on the ballot... You have to write me in; and you should

My Instagram is just a feed of Afroman dunking on some thinskinned cops.