I wish I never let myself fall in love with him.

What's love ever done but hurt me?

I want my heart to just go back to being a chunk of fucking ice.

I spent a lot less time crying yesterday, because I had my friends to distract me. Today, I'm going to use writing to distract me. I can't keep lingering on "what ifs." Whatever happens with Matt will happen when it happens. Stressing over his reply is not going to help me at all. Aero, our mutual friend, is talking to him tomorrow about it, so there's that. I think she'll smack some sense into him.

Me: Maybe I should just date a woman.

J: You should. But it won't last long.

Me: I've dated a woman before.

J: Did it last long?

Me: ...No. And she stole a bunch of my shit when she left.

J: That's what they're like.

Me: Ahem?? I'M ALSO A WOMAN.

J: You don't count because you're better than the rest of them.

The two other women in VC: [*silence*]

😬

Me: OK, see how big my eyes are right now with these glasses on?

Matt: Yeah?

Me: Boom. *Takes off glasses to reveal much larger eyes*

Matt: WHOA.

(The only appropriate response lol)

NEW HAIRRRR.

(Auburn on top, which is my natural color, and red red red on the bottom layers)

Feeling cute today!! I should've brought this dress to MomoCon instead of the velvet one.

(The alt text is not working on my phone, so I'll add it later.)

Resting is good.

Resting is NECESSARY in order to heal.

I can read this book, and that's still productive.

But...I don't NEED to be productive.

I have to keep reminding myself these things.