June 15, 2026 marks the 22nd trip around the sun since my Daddy's passing from this mortal coil. His presence is still felt deeply in my universe, and I am thankful that I got to be his kid.
He was 52, and I was 26 then. I was half his age. I was the same age he had been, when I was born. I had 2 toddlers; his only 2 grandchildren. I am now 48 with 1 grandchild; his only great-grandchild.
This photo is one of my favorite photos of us together, I was 2.5, he was nearing 30. He showed me unconditional love, and no one else ever had. What a truly incredible gift that has been, since I recognized it!
He showed everyone love, if they wanted it. My younger sibling - with a different bio father - was the same as being his own child, in his heart. His nieces were people he loved as much as any parent could. His cousins might as well have been siblings. One was never sure what the difference between cousin and friend was with him, either. Family was just a map of how you came to love someone - he understood love as an infinitely renewable resource, that do not decay with time and space.
He taught me the value of plant medicine. He let himself stay wrapped around my little finger, while occasionally letting his protective side show. He never tried to control me when he disagreed with my actions. He recognized my sovereignty as a being in his temporary care, until he recognized my sovereignty as a fellow adult and best friend. He sometimes hard to convince me that I was missing out on his sage advice, including this gem:
"All men are c*cksuckers"
To be fair, I was 18 years and moving on from a coke-head boyfriend of similar age to a new guy a decade older. I'm not sure what else there was to say.
I have no trouble imagining his response to my transition, which he did not get to witness. He would have made jokes and said that he would start calling me his Baby Boy, or found another pet name. Because he loved me with no limits. Because he believed in me with no boundaries. I am so fuqing lucky!
Beans N Rice, Daddy. 🤟💛♾️
