@nprofile1q... @nprofile1q... Did someone say crab friends? https://www.tipsyelves.com/products/red-crab-two-person-halloween-costume

@nprofile1q... One of my first girlfriends had gone to a women’s college and invited me there to meet her friends. That evening they said “let’s measure each other’s chests!” which seemed like a fantasy come true for teenage me.

“Glenn, let’s start with you!” Huh?! “…sorry, Glenn, but you have a negative bust because you have a concave chest.”

I later told one of my friends about that and he said I have what every pirate wants: a sunken chest. 😂

@nprofile1q... What sort of Bloody Marys are you mixing?!

@nprofile1q... I always thought they were self-censoring “ass”

@nprofile1q... I liked when someone suggested it should have been the Footballabies 🦘 https://www.reddit.com/r/australia/comments/1u56zmj/australia_excited_to_annoy_soccer_fans_by_calling/orij8d5/

@nprofile1q... There used to be a Porsche dealership next to a Harley Davidson dealership in Annapolis, if that wasn't midlife-crisis street I don't know what is.

@nprofile1q... Real question is, will he keep that when given the opportunity to use a different sort of saucy photo?

@nprofile1q... "Lock the taskbar, lock the taskbar"

@nprofile1q... @nprofile1q... One that beats up Reddy Kilowatt, apparently.

@nprofile1q... Pretty close to the plot of the latest film: https://youtu.be/X0ZGf2B01uU?feature=shared