An attractive woman just looked at me and yawned and I don’t disagree with her.

When do I get to sing, “My Way”?

Time to make the donuts.

Question everything. They say you can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish. Bullshit. Record the sound of a fish moving around in water and run it through Autotune. Boom, you’ve just tuned a fish.

How much Stallone is too much Stallone?

Welcome to Earf!

“Bet you can’t eat just one” is a weird slogan because it assumes people usually just eat a single potato chip and then move on with their day.

Exactly what kind of animal, Mr. Reznor?

Does Weekend at Bernie’s 2 count as a zombie movie?

I think mine is “Find the River”.

America's obsession with putting mayo on everything troubles me.

Which REM song defines you as a person?