Attackers dust addresses that have previously spent a utxo, not ones that currently control a utxo. So, now there is a new utxo at that address, and when the wallet goes to spend it will use the new dust utxo along with utxos at other addresses the wallet controls. Now this new spend tx reveals on chain that the previously used address is connected to other addresses.
If that worked then at that point you could ask the agent to improve itself in ways you'd like. It would come back as an improved version of itself. Keep going and you have AGI.
Silent payments lets you publish a static payment address, and no observer can see any payments made to it. You need the private key to see your payments. This means no more address reuse, no more having to generate new addresses for payments. No more looking up wallet balances on block explorers. Huge UX and privacy boost for Bitcoin.
I don't think any new onion routing network bolted on to the Bitcoin network will be able to be more reliable than Tor or I2P with decades of research and development. Not to mention that Tor and I2P exist today and dandelion is vaporware that will never realistically be built.