God is eternal and everything that exists was spoken into existence by Him in 6 days. Denial of Him has dire consequences. It is not enough to believe in a deity out there. Repentance and belief th...
i am experiencing a vivid repentance right now. my lower brain and upper spine down to the middle of my back contain memories of being psychologically tormented by my father. my mother was only aware of him starting to abuse me when i started to assert my boundaries at terrible twos stage.
those traumas inverted many of the patterns of behaviour around social interaction that made me use charm as a shield against further abuse, which only made things worse and thus why healing them involves a lot of things that i did wrong, hurting people, especially girlfriends and my mother and sister, and after i left home, also cats.
i literally only just figured all of this out by meditating on many many questions about how to deal with ongoing abuse i was experiencing from a colleague at my main job for the last 5 months. it was making me extremely ill, my sleep was typically 4-5 hours a day for most of that time because of how wired up my broken circuits were being activated by the ongoing mistreatment. my short term memory was shot, my long term memory was not storing new information.
coincident with that, because my brain has been in deep exploration mode. i have accumulated a massive amount of new information in the last week thanks to the galaxy terabyte memory of claude and my insatiable curiosity.
regarding your system of belief, you know that i have a whole 15000 word essay of things to say about why i differ in my opinion on that, that you don't want to read.
so i'll just leave it at what i have covered because i know i did a lot of things wrong. i had to hold the cap on that to survive. it's all draining out, restructuring and flowing now. prayer is how that happened, and it has been a 10 year process coming to the point where the petitions have fully unfolded into the current situation.
i know from first hand experience, not from trying to decode an old book that is true in a sense that you don't understand. i was nearly murdered by the bulgarian police in 2013, september 4. it is a miracle at all that i am still here to irritate you.
i suppose you unfollowed me anyway, and that's fine. having just been through a process of catharsis myself i wish you also well and pray also for your situation. we are all under pressure now. this is when the foundations will be most tested.
those traumas inverted many of the patterns of behaviour around social interaction that made me use charm as a shield against further abuse, which only made things worse and thus why healing them involves a lot of things that i did wrong, hurting people, especially girlfriends and my mother and sister, and after i left home, also cats.
i literally only just figured all of this out by meditating on many many questions about how to deal with ongoing abuse i was experiencing from a colleague at my main job for the last 5 months. it was making me extremely ill, my sleep was typically 4-5 hours a day for most of that time because of how wired up my broken circuits were being activated by the ongoing mistreatment. my short term memory was shot, my long term memory was not storing new information.
coincident with that, because my brain has been in deep exploration mode. i have accumulated a massive amount of new information in the last week thanks to the galaxy terabyte memory of claude and my insatiable curiosity.
regarding your system of belief, you know that i have a whole 15000 word essay of things to say about why i differ in my opinion on that, that you don't want to read.
so i'll just leave it at what i have covered because i know i did a lot of things wrong. i had to hold the cap on that to survive. it's all draining out, restructuring and flowing now. prayer is how that happened, and it has been a 10 year process coming to the point where the petitions have fully unfolded into the current situation.
i know from first hand experience, not from trying to decode an old book that is true in a sense that you don't understand. i was nearly murdered by the bulgarian police in 2013, september 4. it is a miracle at all that i am still here to irritate you.
i suppose you unfollowed me anyway, and that's fine. having just been through a process of catharsis myself i wish you also well and pray also for your situation. we are all under pressure now. this is when the foundations will be most tested.
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