THESE ARE MY NON NEGOTIABLE TERMS:

- SIGNING BONUS
- DOUBLE PAY UP FRONT
- PAY AGAIN UPON SERVICES RENDERED
- 90 DAY NO QUESTIONS ASKED WALKAWAY CLAUSE WITH HANDSOME SEVERANCE PACKAGE
- 3 MONTHS PAID VACATION PER QUARTER
- HEALTH AND DENTAL (WITH NO OUT-OF-U.S.-NETWORK PENALTY)
- COMPANY CAR
- COMPANY COMPUTER
- COMPANY PHONE
- COMPANY HOUSE
- COMPANY WAIFU
- 1 LB COMPANY HAMBURGER MEAT
- 1 CUP SHREDDED COMPANY CHEESE
- 1/2 CUP COMPANY LETTUCE

OH AND WE'RE OUT OF COMPANY TACO SHELLS