The car is a really a non-perfect example. But the point is important: Everyone is all the time only thinking about themselves, nobody cares about you. How you look, what you say, what you do. This is particularly important to remember in any negotiation, in any smalltalk, in any social situation really. Even if you do the dumbest thing, people will deep-inside envy you for the courage to do such dumb things – wishing they had the courage to be just as dumb as you are.

Always remember that the person across from you more worried about their own performance and self-image that they have no time and no mental capacity to judge you.

By shifting your focus from “trying” the other person to like you or to do what you wish, to how you can help the other person to feel respected and more significant, you can achieve your own objection much more easily.

They, just like you, have a deep need to feel valuable. That is why you are so concerned about yourself, just as much as the other person is concerned about him or herself. If you then provide a genuine feeling of importance to them, they will naturally become well-intentioned toward you and your plans.

If you are negotiating or trying to achieve a goal, just frame it in a way that it increases the other person’s own importance by helping you.

Easier said: as soon you stop focusing on yourself and start giving your full undivided attention to the interests of others, they will ironically find you far more attractive and interesting as a partner.

Let go of your need to protect your own ego and instead acknowledge the other person's perspective.