TL;DR: Peter RekTodd created both the problem and the solution.
1) technical advisor for CC since 2014
2) pushed for full RBF since 2013, now enabled by default on all nodes (users’ and miners’)
...
I didn't even think of the RBF angle, damn CC owners, if you got your funds out, you really were up against the odds, imagine having to outbid hackers for your own funds! I'm tired boss