I'm not going to argue that LN isn't Bitcoin, but are you the ~3% of LN users who use it without custodians and transact without permission? (no custodial wallets or LSPs i.e. run their own LN node)

Bypassing intermediaries is the thing that makes Bitcoin special - not the name Bitcoin. Other cryptos achieve that same goal with different properties.

You mentioned hassles earlier. Here are the hassles of sovereign LN (the only relevant comparable use of LN) that L1s like Monero and on-chain Bitcoin don't have:
-Need to fund channels before you can even use
-No static/offline addresses
-Can be rugged if node goes offline
-Can be force closed back on-chain (wasting time and money)
-Can fail to route a payment
-Larger payments will fail
-Lacks strong privacy by default (only applies to Monero)