Will I feel the same sense of alienation and disconnection? Will anyone ever look at me and guess correctly? Will I get beat up? Will I get a job instead of someone more deserving? When will I feel like I've done everything I can? Will I like having them? How long until they stop hurting? Have I made a mistake? Will the damage to my voice make it harder to train? Will I love what I become? Have I always been this way? Will this make life harder for my daughter? Have I always known? What have I always known? What will I never know? Which doubts were because of this, and which were something else? Will this change how I feel about death? Will this change how I feel about my hands? Am I sick? Am I cute? Am I pretty? Will a total stranger ever tell me I'm pretty? Will any of my close friends? Will my partner? Am I too late? Did I wait too long? Will he/she/they be sorry? Will they/she/he even know it was their fault I waited? Will I ever see her/them/him again? Should I have come here? If I'd have stayed, would I have figured it out sooner? Do I even want to be called "mama"? Would makeup help? Can I afford to do more? Is it worth the money to feel better? About my face? About my chest? About my arms? Would it have been, if I were younger? If I were younger, would I get surgery? Why don't I feel dysphoria about [that]? Why don't I feel dysphoria about [that]? Why did it take so long? Am I done? Is there more?