The reason I posted this recently is because I have seen a ton of people making assumptions (specifically about the intentions of others) while also taking their behavior personally.
It's painful to ...
It is painful to watch. Certainly. It can feel really helpless to have to just stand by.
Many years ago I began taking the advice of my mentor in this regard. He would insist that there is only one person in all of the universe, me. Everyone else is a reflection, or a character on the screen of consciousness to reflect back an aspect of myself.
To the degree that the activities, words, or emotional expressions affect me is the exact indication of where I should look within myself. It’s tricky at times, because most reflections don’t necessarily map one to one with my inner terrain, but they are always directional and there is always “something there” when I get honest and quiet enough to really look into the shadows.
Now, is this actually true?
I don’t know and it doesn’t seem to matter, because living from this perspective absolutely works.
I’m still at it. It’s been about 15 years now of using this every day. My inner terrain has completely transformed, my wife (met 7 years ago and is also a navel gazer) has always said I’m the most unflappable person she’s ever known. At first she expressed how frustrating and slightly disturbing it was, that I’m not emotionally reactive. She and her friends interpreted that as uncaring. But eventually she admitted in a moment of quiet relief that it’s actually unsettling because she couldn’t find hooks to manipulate me with.
The first response I get from anyone I share this with is “why do that!? I don’t want to become an unfeeling robot!”
It’s exactly the opposite, my capacity for real connection has grown exponentially. I feel compassion, empathy, connection, love, and all the beautiful and painful feelings far more deeply than ever. They just don’t hook into traumas or triggers anymore, and so they pass through my system in fullness and completion in the moments they happen. It feels like a super power, and yet it’s obvious this is just simply how it’s meant to be.
Many years ago I began taking the advice of my mentor in this regard. He would insist that there is only one person in all of the universe, me. Everyone else is a reflection, or a character on the screen of consciousness to reflect back an aspect of myself.
To the degree that the activities, words, or emotional expressions affect me is the exact indication of where I should look within myself. It’s tricky at times, because most reflections don’t necessarily map one to one with my inner terrain, but they are always directional and there is always “something there” when I get honest and quiet enough to really look into the shadows.
Now, is this actually true?
I don’t know and it doesn’t seem to matter, because living from this perspective absolutely works.
I’m still at it. It’s been about 15 years now of using this every day. My inner terrain has completely transformed, my wife (met 7 years ago and is also a navel gazer) has always said I’m the most unflappable person she’s ever known. At first she expressed how frustrating and slightly disturbing it was, that I’m not emotionally reactive. She and her friends interpreted that as uncaring. But eventually she admitted in a moment of quiet relief that it’s actually unsettling because she couldn’t find hooks to manipulate me with.
The first response I get from anyone I share this with is “why do that!? I don’t want to become an unfeeling robot!”
It’s exactly the opposite, my capacity for real connection has grown exponentially. I feel compassion, empathy, connection, love, and all the beautiful and painful feelings far more deeply than ever. They just don’t hook into traumas or triggers anymore, and so they pass through my system in fullness and completion in the moments they happen. It feels like a super power, and yet it’s obvious this is just simply how it’s meant to be.
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