Your best shot for getting people out of extreme religion is never going to be making them feel like they are unable to fit in anywhere else.

Not that I'm trying to do that with this guy. He's just a nice kid from IT I was chatting with while we waited to see if my computer updates worked. But when I do spot people who seem like they probably have a similar background to me, I try to put them at ease & make them feel "normal". The "weirdness" of the subculture keeps people stuck in it.