*sigh*

Conversation with my mom about Bro2, the one who chooses to be a shithead (a fact I have only very recently accepted).

I felt how heavy the conversation got for her. There were a couple times emotion got the better of me too & I struggled to speak.

We didn't have time to go too deep, but it was a start. He's not been honest with any of us about a lot of things. That takes some working through.

Do you ever go to a website & think "I bet the person who built/maintains this is on Fedi"?

You know, when it's just a normal fucking site that provides a very simple service, doesn't take forever to load because it's not crowded with ads, & doesn't collect any unnecessary data.

Gift-giving holidays are approaching. Here's a suggestion: if you are using an online wishlist, don't use Amazon.

I use Things To Get Me (dot com). Yes, I have to enter information myself, but it's worth it not to be directly telling people to buy from Amazon.

(& yes, Things to Get Me has an Amazon affiliate deal, but that only applies if the item is linked to Amazon)

I can't stop people if that's where they want to purchase stuff, but I'm not going to encourage it.

Speaking of being a Guillermo del Toro fan account:

I'm so excited that a local theater is showing Pacific Rim this December.

I never saw it in theaters because I did not yet know the wonders of GDT. Seeing the posters & promotions gave me the impression it was basically a Transformers movie. Silly me. I did not know what I was missing.

But now I get to see it on the big screen!

Godzilla Minus Zero in IMAX was almost too much for me. Immersion into something that intense is almost painful.

I should have known after Minus One that Takashi Yamazaki was going to put me through an extremely strong emotional experience.

The movie looked fucking amazing, the monsters especially.

I loved it, even though during several scenes where I was really emotionally bound up in the action I was thinking to myself "I hate this movie. I hate this movie. I hate this movie."

Jesus Christ.

Imagine getting upset & bothered because you saw someone say "you should credit artists for their work."

As always please don't seek this person out & pile-on/harass.

I just... What?

Another heartening thing from US midterms:

Republicans ran ads accusing every fucking Democrat of being a socialist who firmly supports trans rights & wants to protect immigrants, even when the Democrat in question was desperately trying to be as conservative as they can without admitting it.

This means "this person is a socialist," "this person supports trans rights," & all the other things Republicans use aren't driving fear the way they used to.

I guess anything gets old after a while.

Seeing a movie in IMAX for the first time today.

I usually think of IMAX as a bit of a gimmick, like, if your movie isn't great on a normal screen, I don't care what it looks like in IMAX. I'm just not really interested in "premium experiences". I don't think a movie should have to fill up your entire field of vision to be incredible to watch.

But when it's Godzilla, it's supposedly Japan's first movie shot for IMAX, & *let me repeat* it's GODZILLA, I want this experience.

Skreeonk!

Oof. Another call with Niece's mom that filled me in on a major lie my brother told my family. What actually happened in this instance put an enormous strain on Niece's mom & step-dad's whole life for over a year. A massive strain.

I was under the impression that my brother had to move so he could be close to his daughter because his ex-wife wanted to move.

That's backwards apparently, & the whole story in context is jaw-dropping.

Here's my optimism:

- a huge number of people don't want the cruelty & brutality of continued Republican power, & that was demonstrated tangibly

- I am reminded when I go to my polling place that a lot of people believe that people can cooperate in good faith to make a better world. I don't believe that will happen through elections, but when we talk about the breakdown of societal trust, we should recognize that people still WANT to trust the bonds between us. That's good news.

It just doesn't feel good looking around at election results knowing that Democrats spent this election cycle deliberately & unnecessarily throwing trans people under the bus.

Like, sure, I voted. I don't want Republicans having any extra power.

But I don't think this "blue wave" is a victory for us.

It feels a lot more like a victory for the people in the Democratic Party who are testing how many people they can afford to sell out.

Advice for anyone who wants to make art:

Make art.

I've been focused on paper quilling for a few days & new ideas for designs keep popping into my head. I close my eyes & see swirling paper.

This is what happens when I consistently do creative work. I go from having no ideas to having too many.

When I sit down & start working on something at random without knowing what I want to make or what it could look like, it gets my brain in gear, & THEN the ideas come. To make art, you gotta make art.