FESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS: 18 Jun 2026 - New Adelphi Club, Hull; 20 Jun 2026 - Cambridge Junction https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole

My local greasy spoon cafe, which I have gone to once a week for the 18 years I've lived near it got a new chef a few months back, this chef has decided fried eggs are better if the yellow bit is broken. I have never been so outraged & annoyed & I am currently boycotting it.

Bus driver here. Group of teens were dinging the bell constantly so when they rang it to get off the bus I just kept going, a good mile past their stop. Shame it was raining.

When my kids were small I used to make up silly stories to wind them up. My son ,now 20, has just told me that he spent years of his childhood in abject terror because I had told him he might die of poisoning if he swallowed too much toothpaste when brushing his teeth.

Work in a old building that still has a pneumatic/vacuum tube delivery system in place but isn't used. Its great for vaping into though when you don't want to go out in the pissing rain. No idea where it goes but no one seems to know and we all use it without acknowledging it.

I thought I'd give myself a strategic pube trim, but went too hard on the shaft and ended up with what looks like a short fringe mullet on my cock and balls. Having a little Dave Hill in your pants is quite disconcerting, I have to say.

Worked in IT for 20 years. Every time I have to decommission a server I write "Good Night, Sweet Prince. And flights of angels sing you to your rest" in the shutdown log. Secretly hope someone discovers one one of my little notes one day. No-one has so far.

We've used the same half dozen or so clocks in exam halls, but have found that we need replace this this year with digital clocks because some of our pupils are unable to tell the time on analogue clocks. From an exams officer in an independent school.

Got made redundant in February but I still know the code to access my old work canteen from the street so I go in twice a week and get a free bacon roll and coffee on the way to my new job.

PE Teacher here. My school team won a national Football final recently. The huge trophy has pride of place in my bedroom window. Screw those kids, it's mine now.

I've learned that if you try to sneak out of the office at 4.55pm colleagues all know you're bunking off early, but if you walk out confidently at 3pm, they assume you're going to an important meeting.

I've started asking people the thought experiment "are there more doors or wheels on planet earth?". I don't really care about their answer, but the speed at which they ask ChatGPT allows me to assess how much I care about their thoughts and opinions on other matters.