I was thought that I am in the wrong community, and here I am. Exactly, I am in the wrong community when I interested to know more about #VTuber. I can't compete with them, and I am not suitable for them, since I didn't get what they did.

Should I leave the community? No, but I should to stay away from them and their viewers. Like I said, they just see the outside, not the inside. Also, I decided to be dormant there until I found the solution for my brain and I have the safe place that might be those won't see it.

Am I another Lain? Nope, but I'm feeling resembling to Lain. The difference is I don't have too much connection with people outside and when I was know about decentralised social network, I feel what most people don't feel. In front, I feel the freedom. But in back, I feel the loneliness.

Those people who have been on Elon's Twitter and seeking for an freedom of speech to speak the truth of themselves, the Nostr and fediverse under ActivityPub is what are they looking for. Might be the Fedi still got the rules, but in Nostr you won't find any kind of rules and it seems good for you as the heaven for your world.

La gente dice que tengo un ego demasiado grande, mientras que yo no siento nada al respecto. Pero a mi modo de ver, no tenía un ego tan grande que la gente pensara en mí. Solo me veían por fuera, pero no veían mi interior.

Mi mundo interior está jodido y no tengo idea de por qué sufro esta condición. Además, estuve desconectado del mundo como 12 horas o más y eso me suena realmente muerto. Realmente me estoy exigiendo demasiado con este tipo de vida.

It's been a while since I am writing on this network. Well, I was watching an series called "SE Lain" and S.W.A.T in season 5. In another hand, it tells about the kid named Lain and she addicted to the network that she is really messed up at the moment, while in another one is season 5 about LAPD SWAT that also an stories between 20 David and the squad that he leads.

About SE Lain, it's actually an fictionalized stuff with psychological horror that really messed up both for the main character and for viewers who have an mental health issues. In another point, the TV drama about LAPD SWAT is look like an painkiller for me after watching the stories about Lain's conditions.

Well, it really takes an big change into my brain after watching both of them. SE Lain is an painful stories for me, but also S.W.A.T is the painkiller that challenge my brain in many ways.

IMPHNEN (Ingin Menjadi Programmer Handal, Namun Enggan Ngoding) is now on Nostr which bridged with Bluesky. I am who managed the Bluesky account of IMPHNEN

Here's the adress on npub (@npub126d5x...) and also on Bluesky (https://bsky.app/profile/imphnen.bsky.social)